I am a Klonopin (Clonazepam) Lab Rat

Think about how scientists determine whether medications are safe before they are manufactured. Most of the time they use lab rats, guinea pigs or mice to determine the safety, adverse reactions, side effects and effectiveness of medications and other things.  After giving these poor animals certain doses of medications over time they study their behaviors to learn how they reacted to certain medications, dosages and treatments over time.

There are many disadvantages to these type of studies, but one of the biggest is that the lab animal is obviously unable to communicate and express in any way shape or form what the medication did to them and how it made them feel. These kind of studies also fall short in the sense that they are no studies on long-term use of a certain medication before it is put out on the market. I realize there is much more involved but in a nut shell that is what happens. An animal did not die so lets use it on people now. We’re ready. Or are they?

We become the lab rats so to speak. I would like to introduce myself.

I am lab rat Sue#569872577 and I used Klonopin (Clonazepam) for over twenty years.

The bonus and miracle of my particular study is that I am actually a person–a female, age 55 years old, I can communicate, my brain still works and most importantly I am still ALIVE. I lived to tell the tale.

Many others in the same circumstance as me did not survive or are unable to discontinue the use of Benzodiazepines. There are no long-term studies of this particular drug because most people who begin using this medication cannot stop using it once they start it after long-term use of over six months to a year, so they will never know if their symptoms are actually anxiety or withdrawal symptoms that mimic severe and worsening anxiety.

Also, every person that I have come in contact with and/or read about that used Benzodiazepines for over a year and were able to successfully withdraw and stop taking Benzos has said the withdrawals (neurological damage and effects) were the worst hell they ever experienced and also that going off Benzos was the best thing they ever did and they all say, “I wish I NEVER stated taking Benzos.”

Many people who attempt to go off Klonopin, for example, cannot do it. They just can’t. They may get down to 2 mg. but can’t completely break free. They say their anxiety is too bad but it is not the anxiety, it is withdrawals. They will be prescribed a different Benzo but cannot get completely free from Benzodiazepines once they start. That is the dangerous powerful nature of Benzodiazepines.

Benzodiazepines are a silent quiet epidemic that are hiding behind the urgent warnings of Opiates. They need to add Benzodiazepines to this list–NOW!

For anyone using Benzodiazepines for over a year, I would like to ask you if your anxiety has increased after using Benzos. If it has Benzos are obviously not working.

I had severe unbearable incapacitating anxiety my entire life. My psychiatrist put me on Klonopin twenty-five years ago. After I took just one pill that was it. I was hooked and I was ecstatic. The miracle drug. This is the answer to  my prayers. I can live again. Life is good. This is what I needed. It helped me relax and took away the pain and discomfort of anxiety from my being for the first time since I could remember. I was euphoric.

Klonopin creates a gentle euphoria. It has a seductive nature–very similar to the forceful effects drugs like methamphetamines have. You want that feeling to be replicated over and over. You need to feel free from anxiety and feel that unexplainable magic that Klonopin makes you feel–the beauty and power of being anxiety free even momentarily is amazing.

“Dr. Mxxxler. You are a genius. I love you.” That is what I told my p-doc at my next appointment after taking my first Klonopin. Nothing, I mean nothing would get in the way of me and my Klonopin. I loved my Klonopin. The doctors changed every medication over time but not my Klonopin. No one better say any thing negative about my Klonopin. No. I WAS HOOKED and I was the biggest fan of Clonazepam–Klonopin.

I had never had a suicidal thought until I began taking Klonopin. I even lived in the Salvation Army and had to recover from a severe broken ankle with a seven-year old daughter. We lived there for three months while I was homeless and healing  from my severe break and surgery but at the time I was not on Klonopn and I never had a suicidal thought.

After I stopped taking Klonopin, I never again had a severe suicidal thought and now I have NONE!!! My anxiety is very manageable (medication free) now that I am off Klonopin.

When I had my almost lethal suicide attempt a year ago, I was only taking Klonopin–nothing else at the time. I went into an elated mania/euphoria and was in a psychotic state at the time of my suicide attempt caused from Klonopin.

How can severe anxiety and severe non-stop suicidal thoughts just stop after quitting Klonopin when nothing else was different in my life except the discontinuation of Klonopin. That was the only change–nothing else. After I stopped taking Klonopin my recovery and mental wellness began plain and simply. There can only be two conclusions, Klonopin was the cause of my problems or I was healed by God. One or both are the only explanations.

What happens after Klonopin use:

  1. Brain slows down causing you to feel calm.
  2. Feel euphoric/ecstatic
  3. Feel like it is a life saving drug.
  4. Your brain and body soon adjust to the dosage.
  5. Your body craves more–it must have more just to maintain, function and be anxiety free.
  6. After the effects from Klonopin wear off, anxiety like symptoms increase–feels even worse than before so you think your mental illness is worse but instead it is addiction–you are going through withdrawals.
  7. Your body craves more Benzos. You must have more or your anxiety like symptoms will increase. You panic as your body has entered into withdrawals until you get that Klonopin (Benzo).
  8. After you take the Klonopin, you think Klonopin helped your anxiety but instead it stopped your withdrawal symptoms.
  9. Your body maintains the Klonopin level for a while, but soon it requires more to be effective.
  10. Your P-doc increases your dose or you take a couple extra Benzos to tide you over
  11. You get used to the higher dose
  12. This cycle continues until you are taking over 5-7 mg. or more of Klonopin a day.
  13. Benzodiazepines are no longer working to improve anxiety. You are now taking Benzos to stop you from becoming dope sick/Benzos sick (feels like severe anxiety and worse).

These were my experiences. Everyone is different, but my experiences are very similar to MANY people I have met, read about or listened to on You Tube videos.

If you are new to taking Benzos at first you will love it, but one day the effects will wear off and not work anymore and then your symptoms will be worse than they were before you began taking Klonopin or other Benzos. I mostly speak about Klonopin because that is what I used and have lived experience with and what I have been diligently researching about. It is one of my new passions to help others so they will NEVER go through what I did. I lost years of my life because of the Benzodiazepine Klonopin (Clonazepam).

This is my story. I am not a doctor. I only write this from my lived experience and never want others to experience the losses I did because my unknown and undiagnosed addiction to Klonopin for over twenty years. I was a drug addict and didn’t know it. There are no recovery groups for Klonopin addicts in my area. It is something I want to work on (along with my many other goals). I want I talk to other people who had similar experiences with Klonopin and/or other Benzos, like me.

If you used Klonopin or other Benzodiazepines and/or had Klonopin withdrawal syndrome please share your story with me if you would like. I would absolutely love to hear from you.

My blog is My Loud Whispers of Hope (changed from My Loud Bipolar Whispers).

I hope I helped and I hope my words did not upset too many people as that is not my intent.

“I must SHARE because I CARE!”


The Trouble with Benzos

The benefits of benzos have been oversold. For decades, they’ve been prescribed for anxiety and sleep, but the evidence indicates that they don’t work very well, and they are not intended for long-term use. Studies have shown that over the long-term, benzos can actually increase anxiety symptoms. In many cases, it is possible to effectively treat both anxiety and sleep disorders without medicines or, at the very least, with medicines other than benzodiazepines.

In addition, tolerance and dependence can develop quickly. There have been reports of people who received high doses of benzodiazepines becoming physically dependent in as little as two days. Without medical supervision, withdrawal symptoms after stopping benzos can be severe, ranging from extremely intensified anxiety to high blood pressure, shaking, seizures, and convulsions.

The higher the dose and longer the use, the greater the likelihood of addiction. People who misuse benzos tend to be taking higher-than-prescribed doses or mixing the pills with alcohol or other drugs. In some cases, they crush or chew them, which interferes with the timed-release formula and speeds up the effects. This misuse is, of course, extremely dangerous.


Psychology Today © 2019 Sussex Publishers, LLC


“… benzodiazepine abuse is tied with opioid misuse. These are drug problems which run hand-in-hand, so shouldn’t we treat them both equally?

Addiction is addiction. Anyone who suffers from a drug habit deserves equal attention in our efforts to help them. Saying that one type of addiction is worse than the rest and therefore deserves more of our focus is akin to saying a kind of cancer is worse than the rest and that we should prioritize treatment for patients with that type of cancer. We would never do this with cancer patients, so why do it with addicts? Let’s treat all addicts with equal efforts and attention, and let’s tackle the entire addiction epidemic — not just parts of it.”


Copyright © 2019 | myloudwhispersofhope.com | All Rights Reserved




  1. I had been taking 6 mg of Klonopin a day for years. I decided I wanted to stop taking them so we started weaning me off of them. I was fine. We were down to the last stop in the weaning and the day I stopped the very little bit I was taking each day, I went into total panic and it was so severe it triggered other problems including what I thought was a heart attack. My chest felt tight and it hurt bad. Other things happened that could have been coincidence. I ended up in the hospital for a week having every heart test run. It was terrible. They decided to run a cardiac catheterization and I had a severe panic attack and they tried other benzos rather than klonopin and they didn’t work. I had to go back on Klonopin so the only difference is now I am taking only 4 mg a day instead of 6 for about a year or two now. I have resigned myself to taking them forever. My anxiety had gotten worse and quitting them was the worst idea I every had. Weaning or no weaning when my body realized it wasn’t getting ANY that day it revolted and I totally freaked out. I couldn’t make the hospital understand that I had just gone off Klonopin and that’s probably causing all these problems. I did find out that my heart was great at least.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank youi so much for sharing. I am so sorry you couldn’t get off completely. It is a hell no one should go through. I found it absolutely amazing that not one doctor or medical professional understood what I was going through or about knew Klonopin withdrawal syndrome or Benzo addiction and the hell that it is–not one. I got the best information from my nearby pharmacist that knew more than any other doctor–even from Rochester MAYO who are supposed to be the experts. I had no idea if or when my severe neorological like symptoms would end. I wish there was more information but there wasn’t any. The hell I went through was beyond awful I could hardly walk. It was severe neurological impairments. I was unable to function for about three months. Every second of the hell I went through was worth it from the beauty of not being on Klonopin anymore. I am getting my memory back and I have mental clarity with little to no anxiety. I only have what I believe to be “normal” every day anxiety–everyone has a little anxiety. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I appreicate it very much. Much love and hugs, Sue

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks! Good luck! I am also hooked on narcotics. My psychiatrist says it would take 1-2 years to get off them however unfortunately I need them for pain and the klonopin for anxiety. I still remember the day I took the last dose of my weaning dose of Klonopin and my body just knew it wasn’t coming and rebelled violently. I had read about people having to go to the hospital while trying to wean off klonopin, but I didn’t understand. I felt fine UNTIL I took the very last dose and then my body said no way like it knew it wasn’t getting anymore. I didn’t last a week before I was back on it, but at least it was a slightly lower dose.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The withdrawal process is horrific but worth every minute of torture. You just needed to go the next step and make it over the hurdle. I understand it was too difficult and painful though. I just want you to know it is POSSIBLE to become Klonopin and Benzo free. I am living proof. I am happy you are doing well. You need to do what is best for you of course. Thank you for sharing I appreciate it very much and I appeciate you. Much love and hugs, Sue

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thanks Sue. I am not ready to even think about going through all that again only to panic and end up back on them. Besides my anxiety is just too much. I am happy to be on a lower dose at least. Love ❤ and hugs. Tessa

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi my husband has been prescribed benzodiazepines for 30 years -high dosages at that. When his psychiatrist retired no doctor would continue to write them especially considering the high dose he was prescribed
    His anxiety has been out of control for years
    I feel for anyone who has been through this

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing this with me. I find it fascinating and is also a truth that needs to be told. There is a reason that new p-docs are not prescribing this medication anymore. Research has shown that sometimes Benzos can make anxiety worse or at least the withdrawals mimic the worst kind of anxiety EVER. I pray your husband will get some relief from his anxiety. Much love and hugs, Sue


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