It’s not turning out the way I hoped it would.
Maybe it’s time for a reality check.
The realities, the consequences, the destruction
from living a mental illness life–
destroys and impacts everything you touch–
a nonrefundable, nonreturnable life.
I’m not what I hoped I would be.
Life is not what I hoped it would be.
Cast away,
floating out to sea–
a skipping stone,
tossed into the water,
skimming the surface,
counting how many times I skipped the surface
was my only worth.
Meaningless, worthless, lonely–
a discombobulated sinking stone
is all that is left
of the me
I hoped
to
be.
written by Susan Walz
Sorry for a depressing free verse poem, but I am struggling today (obviously). I will post an explanation soon. I have to go to work today, otherwise I would finish writing it now.
I’m feeling depressed today and don’t want to go to work. I wish I could just call in, but I can’t do that. I am not ready to succumb to that and am not that deep into my depression. It is a situational depression–caused from my recent situation I believe, so I am working on fighting through it, again.
When I feel depressed I am more in touch with my emotions and feel the need to express them, so that is why I wrote this poem. I hope you like it even though it is on the depressive side. A poem conveys emotions–causing the reader to feel more (hopefully).
Depression brings me to a place inside me that I feel more–feel at a much deeper level. It is like when I feel too much, it overflows and pours out of me into words and writing. I must get my feelings, emotions and words out and here they are. I hope you like them. Thank you for reading.
May your journey of life overflow with blessings.
Much love and hugs, Sue

Copyright © 2019 | myloudbipolarwhispers.com | All Rights Reserved
Oh, Sue… I’m so sorry you are going through a tough time. Your poem certainly shows the pain and suffering you are going through. I do hope that you have the courage and strength to push through it. God Bless, Sweetie. You are in my thoughts. 😌
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. It will be okay. Just praying a situation turns out for the best–struggling with it. You know this recovery road is not a smooth path by any means. Even for though for the most part it has been wonderful and I know I am blessed, I have had my rough patches and twists and turns along the way. This is just another hurdle to leap over again. I think i just expose myself so openly (too openly sometimes). I feel it and there it is for the blogging community to see…. Thanks for reading and commenting. You are the best.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am sorry to hear that you’re having such a hard time. I also write a lot when I am depressed. It seems that when I am at the extremes of depression and mania I am most creative. I pray that you find peace and joy and get out of the depression soon. God has helped me too many times to count and I pray that He would be with you now. Take care.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much for reading and for your great insight and kind words. I appreciate you. Today is a much better day. I made it to work and it helped me greatly–I felt good about all I acomplished at work. I have rapid cycling bipolar and I can go from one extreme to the next very quickly. I made it to the other side again–depression lessened greatly. Praise God for his mercy and grace. I pray you are doing well. Much love and hugs, Sue
LikeLiked by 2 people
You put into words exactly how I feel at the moment. Thanks susan. You speak truth. Xx
LikeLiked by 2 people
Carol Anne. Thank you for reading and for commenting. I am so sorry that you are feeling like I was yesterday. It pains me to know others feel the same way as me. I am happy that my words could reach you to help you know you are not alone but I am saddened to hear you too were having a horrible day. I feel better today. Praise God for that and I pray you are doing better too. You are so awesome Carol Anne You are one of my favorite blogging friends. I am sorry I have been away from blogging and reading other blogs so much lately but I have been trying to get my book published and have been working more (part-time still) etc. My book is a dream I need a lot of prayers for. Ayyway I pray you are doing better my friend. Much love and hugs always, Love Sue
LikeLike
Writing is helpful to me as well when my depression is at its worst. Thanks for sharing the poem. I can relate to the feeling.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for reading and for your great feedback. I am happy you can relate wth my words but I am sorry you can relate at the same time as that means you have suffered with depression. I think We become more in touch with deeper emotions when we are depressed. It is a benefit of depression. Much love and hugs, Sue
LikeLiked by 1 person