S.E. Taylor’s Story – There’s Glory in Sharing Your Story – Story #13

My name is S.E. Taylor and I am a writer and a blogger. My blog is sibple.com. I write about my struggles and triumphs in dealing with my bipolar disorder and anxiety. Writing helps me cope and I have found a wonderful community here in the blogosphere.

It took years for me to get properly diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was originally diagnosed with Major Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I was prescribed an antidepressant for the depression which led to a very bumpy ride of antidepressant induced manias, worse than I’d ever had before. This was in my early 30’s when I sought help after a series of life crises led to me not being able to pull myself out of a year-long depression. It took a few years and a new psychiatrist to get a proper diagnosis.

I became suicidal and began self-harming. I was having frequent panic attacks. I sought and received accommodations at work and reduced my hours in an attempt to be able to hold a job.  I became involved in an extremely volatile romantic relationship and was self-medicating. Both of which only worsened the state of my mental health. It wasn’t long before I was unable to work, and my psychiatrist had me file for Social Security Disability.

In retrospect I now know I’ve been bipolar since I was a teenager. I knew things weren’t “right” even back then and asked for help that I did not get. I didn’t fully accept the reality of my diagnosis until after I got out of the unhealthy relationship and saw that even with that change in circumstances I still couldn’t seem to get a grip on my stability. I had to make some changes. Being single allowed me to focus on me. I eventually got my insomnia under control and got off the Klonopin that I had not been taking as prescribed. I started eating better, as I had dropped down to under 100 pounds. I was finally able to discontinue the antidepressant and my manias became less frequent and less severe. I became medication compliant. I started putting my mental health first.

It took a long time to get my meds “right” and to start to put the pieces of my life back together. (I’m still working on it) I think that’s the case for many with bipolar disorder. It takes awhile to get properly diagnosed, and then for a while you feel like a guinea pig with the meds. By which point a lot of damage has been done. On top of learning how to manage this illness, many of us are also dealing with all the repercussions of the roller coaster we’ve been on. There is loss, frustrations, shame, and anger. I think it’s important to have patience with ourselves. It can take a long time to put the pieces back together, and to accept that it’s not the same picture it used to be.

Managing my mental health is a daily battle. I learned that keeping a routine is essential.  I focus on the basics, keeping it simple. I make sure I get sleep, proper nutrition, take my meds and push myself to socialize. I exercise and practice mindfulness and wakeful rest to manage my anxiety. I learned how to say no, even though I still feel anxiety and guilt when I do. I’ve learned to recognize my triggers and try to manage them. I struggle to accept my limitations and respect them. I try to recognize the early warning signs of an episode and put coping mechanisms into place.  I still struggle daily but I consider myself stable(ish). I’ve recently had my medications adjusted again, and I accept that as a integral part of managing my illness.

It’s important to ask for help when we need it. Seek professional help and help ourselves and each other best we can. Speak out about Mental Illness to help fight the stigma. And most of all be kind and patient with ourselves.

Here is a link to S.E. Taylor’s Blog titled Sibple.com.  

 S.E. Taylor

Thank you for sharing your story. 

You are an amazing person and a strong survivor.

You deserve much praise and honor.

Your story is your glory.

We celebrate you.  

If you want to share your story on my blog and join us on our campaign “There’s Glory in Sharing Your Story,” please check out the post titled, Please Help Me With My New Campaign – “There’s Glory in Sharing Your Story” to learn the mission behind our campaign.

For suggestions and ideas about how to write your story and for directions on how to share your story on my blog, please visit the post titled A Revised Guide – How to Write and Share Your Story For “There’s Glory in Sharing Your Story.

Thank you in advance for participating and helping our cause of increasing awareness and educating about mental health and mental illness, reducing suicide and ending the stigma of mental illness.

We are on a mission to save lives.

We are on a mission

to improve the quality of people’s lives

who live with mental illness.

Thank you for being you.

Much love and hugs, Sue

“There’s no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

~Maya Angelou

Copyright © 2018 Susan Walz | myloudbipolarwhispers.com | All Rights reserved

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