There’s Glory in Sharing Your Story – Lawrence’s Story – Story #6

Being bipolar. Trying to break the stigma!

An English French bipolar blog

My life in a few words…

This is the “truth”, as I see and feel it. I put brackets around truth because there are many truths describing one event depending on one’s perception.

I will try to do my very best to be as organized and coherent as possible. I am bipolar 2 rapid cycles with an affective disorder and a severe anxiety disorder. I have been followed by a psychiatrist since 1992. Having said that I feel stable for now as my treatment seems to be adequate. Recently I have felt strong signs of improvement in my general disposition by pushing myself to look for the positive even out of a negative situation and to constantly remind myself that things will be okay. It seems to be working well so far and I keep my fingers crossed.

My background:

I graduated from the Superior School of Commerce in Geneva, Switzerland, in 1984. I further extended my education throughout my 30-year career both in finance and education.

My first occupation after graduating was an arbitrageur on equities, covering European and Asian Stock Markets. I also spent a considerable amount of time on the floor of the NYSE and the AMEX.

Then I went on to take an “administrative responsibilities” position (in today’s term, COO) in an offshore Genevan Private Swiss bank. I became the youngest First Vice President to have ever undertaken such responsibilities in that country. I had made the front page of the local newspaper

After completing my 4 years assignment, I joined an independent brokerage firm in the New York area. I became a fully licensed trader and eventually a partner. I spent slightly less than 10 years of my life: brokering Eurobonds, US Treasuries and US equities for institutions.

While I was in New York, I joined the best backgammon club in New York City. I got heavily involved with the game and ended up being ranked internationally after winning a few tournaments and made it to the world championships, where I didn’t last very long! At one stage of my life, I was seriously thinking about turning “pro”.

Instead, I decided that it was time to change courses and I then joined another well-established Private Bank in Geneva. My initial mission was to create from the ground up a full operating trading desk (Foreign exchange, commodity, bond, stock) for their largest offshore office.

Once this task was completed, I went on to Portfolio and Relationship Management. This turned out to be my last assignment. After 7 years in this field and ended up Head of Private Banking for the Group’s largest offshore office.

I was also involved in an International Film Festival as a Director. The experience was tremendous and eventually took me to the Cannes Film Festival. This was one of the best experiences of my life. I met incredible people and I can say that for many years I shared a very close relationship, maybe even a friendship with a Hollywood legend.

The result of losing both my parents a year apart combined with my responsibilities at work became too much to handle. I ended up having a massive breakdown or a “burnout” (I was told that “burnouts” do not exist in psychiatry; they are simply called depressions). I was put on a 6 months leave, but I managed to bounce back and was ready to go back to work. Despite all the achievements and success that I had accomplished for the bank, the “sharks” and “weasels” that I worked with, managed to stab me in the back and got me fired.

After this unexpected and traumatic event, I decided to take care of my family; in particular, my family affairs. Throughout this time I managed to achieve all the personal goals that I had set out; to fully renovate the family home, learn how to play the guitar, pass my black belt in mixed martial arts, to name a few.

I had a nice financial cushion when I left the bank but after living off it for close to 6 years, it eventually disappeared. I had no desire to go back to that rat race after being away from finance for so long.

Then for about three years, I tried to get involved in other fields, investing money and losing it. In retrospect, I believe that I was in a manic phase as my poorly made decisions were based solely on “feelings”; invincible, fearless, believing I could not fail.

It was only after the help of my family and doctors who prescribed the right treatments that I was able to face reality.

It was then that I decided to become a certified English teacher. I have two certifications; one for regular English and the other for business English.

And now I have created this blog. We have to fight to end mental health prejudices and abuses. The stigmas have to stop. It is believed that bipolars are smarter than the norm then, let’s use our brains (when they want to cooperate) and let’s put an end to this.

Peace and serenity

Lawrence Illoc

Here is a link to Lawrence’s blog Being bipolar. Trying to break the stigma! An English French bipolar blog


Thank you for sharing your story. 

You are an amazing person and a strong survivor.

You deserve much praise and honor.

Your story is your glory.

We celebrate you.  

If you want to share your story on my blog and join us on our campaign “There’s Glory in Sharing Your Story,” please check out the post titled, Please Help Me With My New Campaign – “There’s Glory in Sharing Your Story” to learn the mission behind our campaign.

For suggestions and ideas about how to write your story and for directions on how to share your story on my blog, please visit the post titled A Revised Guide – How to Write and Share Your Story For “There’s Glory in Sharing Your Story.

Thank you in advance for participating and helping our cause of increasing awareness and educating about mental health and mental illness, reducing suicide and ending the stigma of mental illness.

We are on a mission to save lives.

We are on a mission

to improve the quality of people’s lives

who live with mental illness.

Thank you for being you.

Much love and hugs, Sue

“There’s no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

~Maya Angelou

Copyright © 2018 Susan Walz | | All Rights reserved



      1. Thank you so much Sue. For you hard work for the cause. On May 20 I’ll be attending a Walk organized by the WHO in Geneva. Eventually, we will need to go and face these powerful people to elevate the debate and make our legal status a real one and I believe by doing so we will break loads of stigmas. We need to be united, strong and forceful in our message. This day will come. I am fighting to find funds to establish a real bipolar foundation ran by bipolars. Only us know the struggles. Much love Lawrence

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. You are very right This is a beautiful collection of stories by a beautiful group of people… including you. I am happy to do this. I am only the messenger. The beauty and gift is coming from the story tellers and the people that lived them. Hugs, Sue

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s