Bipolar Mania Wrote My Memoir

I finally started spring cleaning the first draft of my memoir. It’s about time, as I completed my memoir at the end of November 2017 and haven’t touched it since. I joined Nanowrimo in November, which is a group of online writers that work together as they strive to write 50,000 plus words during the month of November. I knew it would be a huge task, but thought it would give me the incentive to finally finish my memoir.

It worked. I completed the first and very rough draft of my memoir writing over 66,000 words during the month of November. Can you say manic? Yes, my mania was alive and I was flying fast. When I set a goal, I become very determined to finish it. I am not sure if I was manic first or if my nonstop writing and busy schedule kicked my mania into overdrive or not. Either way, my mania helped me finish writing my memoir. Living with bipolar 1 disorder has some positive characteristics, after all. It is not all negative. We are good people with many good quality traits. Sometimes mania pays off.

It wasn’t the most healthy thing for me to do, as I was working part-time and taking care of my youngest daughter at the same time, as well. This was just another part of my slow year-long decline that brought me to my darkest moment. My last and final suicide attempt in February.

I finished the first draft of my memoir in November, but I will include my suicide attempt and days before and after that dark day. I also will include the realities of long-term Klonopin use and what Benzodiazepine/Klonopin withdrawals is like from my own personal experience from going through the horrific ordeal. That will be my final chapter.

I have a long way to go before my memoir becomes publish worthy material. I need to edit it a lot. Also, I am going to delete some of my material and haul it to my word dumpster.

I have a couple of ideas for the title of my book, but I am undecided. Maybe you can help me. Please tell me which title you like better, or even if you don’t like either. I appreciate all feedback. Here are my choices:

  1. “My Brain was Trying to Kill Me, But God Said No”  I always thought that would be the title of my memoir until recently…
  2. “My Loud Bipolar Whispers Hope”  I thought I would use the title of my blog and keep that theme and brand going. I might do that instead.

Hmmmm….. I am not sure. I do not have to decide today. Maybe when my memoir is publish worthy the light bulb in my head will go off and I will have a great title for my completed memoir. I hope so.

I am determined to finish my memoir and make it publish worthy material. I am on my way again. I have a goal and I am determined to finish it and see my dream come true.

My dream is to see if I can find a publisher (not self-publish) to publish my book. If after I try my best to find a publisher and I cannot find one that route, I will self publish.

I pray my finished book will be good and one that many people read. I pray my book will educate and inspire many people and will give people hope that life does get better.

“You put one foot in front of the other and soon you will be walking out the door.”

Ah ha… I know it isn’t Christmas, but it looks more like winter than spring here in Wisconsin. There is still snow on the ground and we are supposed to get more this weekend. What? It is April. Snow and winter in April. Yikes.

Put one letter in front of the other and soon you’ll be finishing your memoir…

(I am very sorry for that. That was bad, but sometimes I cannot help myself. Hahaha…)

If you are still reading this, I absolutely love you. Thank you for reading and visiting my blog. I love you and appreciate you. You are simply marvelous.

Have a happy, healthy and fabulous Friday and weekend.

Enjoy the April (snow) showers.

April (snow) showers

bring May flowers…

Maybe… I hope so anyway.

Hugs and much love, Sue

thank you 2

© 2018 by Susan Walz All Rights Reserved



  1. I love the title of your blog, I think it would be a great title for your memoir as well. Then maybe add a tagline in smaller writing underneath. Just my opninion. Take lots of time to think about it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is a great thought. I need help with this and greatly appreciate the feedback. I am most likely going to name my book… My Loud Bipolar Whispers or My Loud Bipolar Whispers Hope. Thank you again for reading and your feedback. Hugs, Sue

      Liked by 1 person

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