(A Reblog) TW: How Can I Really Explain Why I Feel Suicidal

*Trigger warning*

I reblog this post with a deeply saddened heart 💓 as we lost a dear member of our wordpress family who was also a mental illness survivor for years. She sadly and unfortunately lost her hard-fought battle with mental illlness and died by suicide.

I have included her last blog post on my blog in honor of her memory.

Her last blog is painful and difficult to read as she shares her severe pain and thoughts with complete openness and honesty. Her post explains her ongoing battle and struggles and frustrations of how mental health treatment facilities and staff were not helping her and may have failed her.

Good quality mental health services and care are declining tremendously all over the world, especially in the UK, from my understanding and what I have read. I am very sorry for the lack of good quality care and treatment for mental health in the UK and everywhere, actually.

Also, I wanted to reblog her post as I have gone through similar pain and situations and have had very similar thoughts as she has written in her last post.

I reblogged this to educate about suicide and the stigma of mental illness.

Suicide is real. Suicide attempts are never a cry for help as she painfully states. People who die by suicide, do not truly want to leave the earth forever, they cannot live with their severe pain and hopelessness any longer.

Most people who die by suicide, actually have died from many years of struggling to live and survive with severe symptoms from mental illness, like bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia, personality disorder, substance abuse, an eating disorder or the combination of many.

As with most people suffering from severe mental illness, we always help other people. Helping others is very therapeutic for us and helps us cope. We want to and need to help others, because we can relate to their pain too well and never want other people to feel the same pain we have experienced so many times before.

Sometimes it is much easier to help others, than it is to help ourselves and we are able to help others better than we can help ourselves.

I am reblogging her post and sharing her thoughts and words to educate and to help her others learn more about the seriousness of suicide and the lack of proper treatment for people with mental illness. She would like that. She helped many people while she was alive, so I am trying to let her help others, even through her death.

Please read. It is painful and sad, but it is educational and very important, as well.

At least now she is at peace and is free from pain. RIP JL ❤❤❤

suicide prevention 35

jl's blog

I’ve stood in front of the classroom and talked to nurses and paramedics about why I’ve gone down the route of attempting suicide. Mostly it’s been well received. I’ve spent hours on the phone exploring my innermost suicidal thoughts with a researcher from Sane.  So I am left at a loss to explain why mental health services just don’t get it. Why I am unable to get them to understand what drives me to the point of deciding to end my life? But I’m beginning to think that will never happen – that in particular the crisis team are not set up to need to understand – just to spout a set patter at me about the ‘here and ‘now’.

Please don’t read further if you are yourself feeling vulnerable or if you want to read something uplifting because it really isn’t. Please don’t take it as an indicator of…

View original post 2,098 more words


    1. I am very sorry. I know this was a hard post to read. It is very painful, but suicide and this type of severe pain is real and it is honest and it is the truth and suicide is sometimes the outcome sadly and unfortunately of mental illness many times. I am a mental illness advocate and so sometimes I write and share the painful truths of what mental illness really is. Sometimes people do not want to hear it or read it, but we need to speak about the truths of suicide and mental illness so we can help stop the stigma and prevent suicides and get better treatment and help for people with mental illness. Thanks for you reading and for your comments. I greatly appreciate your feedback and I am sorry to share such a heartbreaking story, but felt I needed to for JL and for many others affected by mental illness and suicide. I hope you are doing well. Have a fabulous day. Hugs, Sue

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry I didn’t read your other posts before I responded this way. Maybe your other posts could have helped her. I would love to think so and they could have helped, but unfortunately the reasons for severe suicidal depression and the answers and recovery are different for everyone. You could have helped though. I read your posts and they are very good and I am happy you are doing well. Good luck and many blessings to you. Love and hugs, Sue


    2. I believe you are correct and we all need to find what we are truly seeking. The answer is not outside ourselves but lies within us all… somewhere. Sometimes it takes a long time to find our own answers (longer than we think we can survive) but we all need to keep fighting and distracting ourselves until we find the answer to fight our battle with depression, bipolar and/or PTSD etc. We sometimes need to fight to live just one more day and one more moment or even one minute at a time until a spark ignites in us to keep us living longer so we can continue to fight our battles and become forever victorious over our own lives.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Prayerfully, people never give up and find their answer and reasons to keep fighting. God is what has helped me. God saved my life many times. God and my children help me stay alive every day. Love and hugs, Sue


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