Is My Bipolar Life a Proxy or is it Real?

Am I real or am I a proxy,

a substitute for my own reality,

an alternative for the real me,

an illusion pretending to live a real life,

someone else representing me,

while my life fades away?

Bipolar does not seem real or at least I wish it was not real.

Bipolar can cause me to feel like I am not real,

like I do not exist at all,

like I am not alive

or living a real life.

At times I know my life is my reality and I wish it was not,

but it is real and I must face the reality of my existence and the reality of my bipolar life.

I must accept my bipolar as acceptance is the first step in recovery.

I have taken those first steps in my recovery,

and I accept that bipolar is chronic

and my recovery will continue throughout my life.

I am the proxy for my own life,

or I am not a proxy at all.

I am real and this is my life.

Having bipolar is not always bad or negative.

Bipolar can be good and fabulous too.

There are many positive attributes than can be gained from living with bipolar.

I choose to face the realities of bipolar and every reality of my life.

I choose to fight, overcome, survive, thrive and live.

I have bipolar 1 disorder and it is real.

I am not ashamed, instead I am proud of my bipolar

I am proud of all I have overcome to survive.

I am proud because bipolar is part of who I am.

Bipolar is the strong and courageous,

fierce and resilient,

empathetic and compassionate

part of who I am.

I have learned to overcome, love and live my life.

I am a survivor,

not a proxy survivor,

but a real bipolar survivor.

Copyright © By Susan Walz and – All written content and personal artwork is © and Susan Walz. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner/artist is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Loud Bipolar Whispers and/or Susan Walz with appropriate and specific directions to the original content. 

Art by Deviant Art

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