Why did you have to hurt me and criticize me so much?
You always told me I was a bad girl and said many other belittling words to me.
You shamed me for my behaviors I could not control and for who I was.
Those words hurt me and left a lasting impression in my mind of who I was and who I would become.
I saw pictures of myself when I was young and I was a very beautiful, kind, helpful and smart little girl and…
I was a VERY GOOD GIRL!
I wish I could have been my own Mommy.
I would have loved the beautiful little girl I was and hugged me often and made me feel very special and safe from harm.
I would have praised me all the time and told me how beautiful and wonderful I was.
As my own Mommy, I would have told the younger me that I could grow up to be anything I wanted to become because I was very talented and smart.
I would have loved me unconditionally forever and always, because that is what I needed.
When I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I wish I could have been my own Mommy.
I would have supported me through it all and throughout all of my struggles.
I would have told me that I was loved beyond measure and that I was still a great person.
As my own Mommy, I would have learned and researched everything I could have about Bipolar Disorder, so I could help me as much as possible and teach me everything I needed to know.
I would have visited me in the hospital and I would have helped me and loved me.
Oh I would have been a great mommy to myself.
I would have never let me and my own daughter be homeless for three months of our lives.
I would have given me so much support, encouragement, praise and love because that is what I needed.
As my Mommy, I would have told me that I could still do anything I wanted to because I am still very talented and smart.
I WOULD be a great Mommy to myself.
I would tell me often that…
I am a VERY GOOD GIRL
I would love me unconditionally forever and always, because that is what I need.
My story is not exactly like yours, but similar enough to understand. Today is a new day!
Thank you and yes it is. Everyday is a brand new gift and day from God!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person